May 14, 2012 § Leave a comment
I’m pretty serious about wanting to finish this and come home this time, or at least see if I can get out and into something else. One of the subjects I’m doing has turned out to be a fourth year philosophy subject which I am probably not experienced enough to even pass. I know you think they would never set people up to fail but it really isn’t like that. Other than this, I can’t seem to find a reason to get up and begin work because I do not believe in what I am doing. I have begun to feel excluded, stupid, childlike, conservative, shy, and I find it difficult to imagine a time when I might be inspired to pick up a novel again. It breaks my heart that I took as long as I possibly could to make a decision and then made a bad one. If I kept going it would only be for you, but I will be ashamed for you to see me fail. I have started making enquiries about transfers and I hope you can help me make a decision tomorrow. I wish you were here because I need some support and don’t have anybody else. Or I wish I was there.
Message me when you get this,